You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2018.

When editors give new writers advice, one of the things they say most often is “don’t write to the trends but instead write what you are passionate for.”  The thinking is this, writing a book is hard work.  If you have any hope of finishing it, you have to be passionate.  Ho hum?  Only doing it because you think you will make money?  Then you probably won’t succeed.

Yesterday, our pastor lectured on finding your passion in the church.  Some people have a passion for feeding others.  Others are passionate to teach.  Still others garden, growing the food we all need.  He challenged each of us to think about how to use our passions to serve.  (I’ll paste the sermon in below.  It was really good.)

This makes sense to me.  The harder something is to do, the more passionate you have to be to pull it off.  We have one member who is a nutritionist.  Would she be the person to put on the committee to source new seating for the choir?  Maybe.  But a group of us have been talking about cooking classes. This would be a better use of her talents.

Someone else was supposed to redo the church Facebook page.  It is part of her job.  For two years it didn’t get done.  My son and I did it in 3 days.  What can I say?  We’re into social media.  He helped me over a few hurdles and I was able to get it done.

Carpentry.  Music.  Teaching.  Think about your passions as you head into the New Year.  How can you use them to improve 2019?

–SueBE

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“Be independent of the good opinion of others.” Abraham Maslow

Would you rather be universally liked by all, or loved by a loyal few?

If we could sum up the eras of a lifetime, it might read something like this:

Childhood: you want to belong.

Early adulthood: you want to be loved.

The rest of your life will be about this: you want to be yourself.

That’s good news, if you think about it. Early on, we may look to others as we determine how to “be yourself.” It takes years to figure out that everybody else is doing the same thing.

Ancient mariners didn’t have GPS. They used the stars, sun, moon and planets to navigate. Somehow, they found their way across oceans. In modern times, we tend to use landmarks to map out the course of life. First love. First job. First child.

But that’s also the beginning of comparisons. Net worth. Number of followers. Measuring yourself against others does nothing to improve your life. It can lead to feeling insecure and envious.

What if we didn’t feel the need to compare our place in the world to others? We might find the meaningful mile markers that fly just under the radar. Doing projects you love that allow you to contribute in your own way. Helping the community with all the tools at your disposal: time, talents, teamwork. Money if you can spare it. A prayer if you’re so inclined.

Life isn’t all about being first, you know. These days, second-hand clothes are sold as “vintage.”

“On second thought” can save you a lot of heartache.

A second wind will keep you going through long days.

This is your second chance at a first chapter. Set your own course starting today, and soon it will become second nature.

–SueBE

We’re keeping things easy this time around, my husband and I. No New Year’s resolutions, just a loose plan to eat at one new restaurant every month. It’s simple, enjoyable and doable — we’re destined for success. And yes, we do need to lose weight, fix up the house, get organized…all of the typical fronts tackled by most folks’ resolutions. We’ve failed at those enough times to know that it’s not worth making a commitment you can’t keep, one that’s sure to end in unhappiness when you just can’t live up to it.

Resolutions are funny things. They are based entirely on what we want for ourselves. Certainly God isn’t asking us to run a mile a day or clean out our closets, except in the most general and generous of ways: God wants what is best for us. God wants us to be healthy and happy. Everything else we resolve to do is simply to satisfy our own image of what our lives should look like. Our lives should be more, better. Or so we think.

Instead, I urge you in the year ahead to do less. Take one thing off your list; excise one of the rules you live your life by. Not something central, but a tangential and self-imposed thing — the lawn must be lush and green year-round; the dishes cannot sit in the sink overnight; you must never eat a carbohydrate. Get rid of the script in your head that tells you “I’m too fat to shop for clothes” or “whenever someone perceives me to be a bad mother, I must feel guilty.” You don’t have to do or feel or think or be anything, no matter what anyone else expects, feels, thinks or chooses for you.

This year (2018) I did something difficult — I stopped dyeing my hair. And it was hard and it is hard; every time I look in the mirror, I have the knee-jerk reaction that I’ve let myself go. But…go where? What is it that I think I owe to other people when they look at me? In something as silly as embracing my natural hair, I’ve found more opportunities for self-examination than I ever guessed I might.

Take it easy on yourself in 2019. Resolve to just be happy. Because if you can’t be happy with yourself as you are, no resolution will ever make you so.

–SueBE

–SueBE

–SueBE

–SueBE

Well, it takes a lot to get a kindly Auntie-type to the brink of physical violence, but it does happen. Years ago, a contractor that I’d hired to re-tile my bathroom trudged into the house carrying his equipment and the new tile I’d picked out. I noticed that he had a lit cigarette in his mouth. “Oh, this is a non-smoking house. If you would, please put that out,” I told him. He did, and I left him to his work. Hours later, I poked my head into the bathroom to see how the job was going. “Just checking in,” I said. “How’s it go-” I stopped mid-sentence. He had lit another cigarette and was blithely puffing away. “Oops!” he said sheepishly. “You caught me!” His face said, Sorry, not sorry.

I was livid and read him the riot act, but by then it was too late. He had puffed that smoke right into the grout of the new tile. As a result, the bathroom smelled like smoke for the next two months, even after I’d opened the window every day to air it out.

To me, this man’s total disregard for my wishes was a metaphor. When you put negative energy – or in this case, smoke – into a project, the end result usually stinks.

In my experience, a positive attitude and respect for those around you will lead to a better outcome. And, most importantly, you won’t get socked in the shoulder by an industrial-strength handbag (for you younger folks, that’s a purse – usually ginormous in size to accommodate Early Bird leftovers.🍝) This has been a public service announcement by the generally-mellow, neighborly Nanas who live on a street near you. We’re kindly, sure. But don’t cross us! PS Don’t slouch.

We live not far from a park with the perfect sledding hill.  Not the one in front.  Everyone learns the hard way that that particular hill empties into a narrow shallow creek.  It is a long walk home with wet snow pants.

But the hills in back?  Long and varied.  There are shallow slopes for the unsure, steep slopes for the brave, and everything in between.

Every time he had a snow day, my son begged to sled.  Often I ended up there with one other mom and a herd of kids.  Some snows were excellent for sledding and others just bogged the sled down.  But every time in snowed, even when it was below zero, we had to try.

That’s why I paired this photo with this quote.  Sledding didn’t work out every time, but every time it snowed, we had to try.  Hope shaped our plans to a much greater extent than failure.

May God help us to find this faith as we head into Christmas, close out the year, and turn the page of a new calendar!

–SueBE

Have a Mary Little Christmas

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