Speak from the Heart

My friend’s husband loved to kayak and sail.
Photo by Roman Pohorecki on Pexels.com

Almost a month ago, I wrote about the loss of my friend’s husband. The day he was in the hospital, she and I exchanged texts.

But I was slow in reaching out after he passed. Her children had come back to town. Her husband was one of nine children. She is one of . . . four? She was surrounded by an abundance of family. And what could I possibly say? I was at a loss.

Still, I knew that I needed to reach out. But as the days added together, it became harder. It was like the longer I waited, the more touching and inspired my letter had to be. Finally I pulled out a blank card.

“Lord, I need to know what to say.”

I would love to tell you that I heard the voice of God. But there was no burning bush. No choirs of angels. Instead, I was simply certain that I needed to speak from the heart and be myself.

I may as well admit it. I’m known for being blunt and pointing out uncomfortable truths.

But that also means that I’m good at being straightforward. Personally, I think that’s a strength although a recent rejection letter gave that as the reason for passing on my work.

I wrote out the card and dropped it into the mail.

Saturday was her husband’s funeral. “How did you know that was exactly what I needed to hear?”

I’m not going to claim that I was certain when I wrote it. But what I do know is that small voice I heard was definitely not my own.

–SueBE

All Shall Be Well

This summer has been . . . interesting. In April, my son came home. His girlfriend’s internship had fallen through.

“But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

I use this as a prayer, it is actually one of my favorites, but it is really a quote from the writings of Julian of Norwich.

Anyway, the internship fell through but he’d helped her find another internship here in town. It was too late for her to get a spot in student housing. Could she stay with us?

“But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

I don’t accept change readily, but I knew this was the right thing to do. So I said okay but then I fussed. Mentally. I didn’t know this girl well. What if she didn’t fit in here? What if she was high maintenance? What if she didn’t like me?

“Mom, guess what? She’ll be working from home three days a week!”

I can’t even imagine the look on my face over that one.

“But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

And really, it has gone well despite the fact that I’m an introvert who doesn’t like change. It turns out she’s an introvert too. But on the days that it is just she and I together at the lunch table, we get around to talking. And I’ve gotten to know her.

Given how introverted she and I both are, I don’t know how long that would have taken if she hadn’t lived here. And now that she’s getting ready to move back into the dorms? I’m going to miss having her around.

“But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

–SueBE

Check Your Intent

Throughout the year, from January until August, we ask members of the congregation to bring in school supplies. One month it might be crayons and colored pencils. Another it will be paper. Then in August, we give the supplies out to needy students. Small donations add up, and we managed to help something like 300 children and their families.

But I noticed something odd. Every time the organizer makes an announcement, one volunteer bounces up out of her seat. “And don’t forget that…” and off she goes in another direction. Yesterday I looked at my husband and raised one eyebrow. He just shrugged. He too had sensed the odd vibe.

I don’t have a clue what is going on. I really don’t.

But I’ll admit that it has caused me to check my own behavior a few times. You know how it is on social media. You quickly scroll through Facebook and see a message about the movie or museum exhibit your friend just saw. And then you quickly key a response. Lately, I’ve been deleting more of them than I send.

All too often, I find that my response isn’t as much about their news as I would like it to be. Instead, I’m relating a story or news about . . . me. “Hey, y’all! Look at me! I’m a good mom/neighbor/friend.” Which might be true enough but is this what I really want to do? Shift focus away from my friend?

Yes, it’s a small, subtle thing. But little things add up. And really? I’d rather they add up into something positive and not just something . . . odd.

–SueBE