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As I was making my son some Ramen, we sat in the kitchen and chatted. I told him the story of the first time I ever cooked anything for his father, some twenty-five years ago.
Oh yes. It was Ramen Noodles.
So I told my son that back in the days of yore, I made his Dad the Ramen, poured in the little seasoning packet, and put it into a bowl. At that time, Ramen wasn’t as ubiquitous as it is now, and I had never had it before. I looked at the package. It showed a bowl filled with noodles, but I didn’t see any broth in the picture.
Is this noodles? I asked myself. I thought it was soup, but based on the picture, maybe it’s just a noodle side dish.
I drained out the liquid.
Serving it to my then-husband, he looked puzzled. “Something is missing here….” he said, explaining that it usually has broth in it.
My son laughed as I told the story. Now, back in our time, I finished making his Ramen and poured it into the bowl. I handed him a spoon.
“Something is missing, Ma,” he said, smiling.
I had forgotten to pour in the seasoning packet! Dagnabbit.
So I admit it. I often order out or bring home meals from food places in our town. My son will actually get a better meal this way, with all of the ingredients included.
I used to feel guilty about this. But now I see that I’m doing the best that I can with the hand I’ve been dealt. My MS affects my memory and my cognitive abilities. For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled to get my side dishes to be done at the same time as my entrée. I remember once during a dinner party years ago, forgetting the two-cups-of-water to one-cup-of-rice ratio and reversing it. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t seem to master this skill that is so important in the life of a family.
Cooking, gathering over the meal, savoring tasty dishes. It just isn’t something I’ve ever been able to do well. Some people who don’t do well with plants have a black thumb. I guess I’ve got a black oven mitt! I’m sure Martha Stewart would look at my caved-in casserole, shake her head and say, “I’d rather go back to jail than have to eat this! It’s a bad thing.”
I’ve come to the conclusion that everybody has something to deal with. Don’t give yourself a hard time for what you can’t do; focus more fully on your gifts, and give that your all. Do your best to work around shortcomings – black oven mitt and all – and trust that God will take care of the rest. And put the pizza place on speed dial.