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Every day, I put words on paper.  Every day, I tell my son the following little mantra:  “Honey, I love you.  I’m so glad you’re my son.”  Every day, I clasp my hands together and pour my heart out in prayer.

I learned a phrase in high school Latin class (many moons, a star and an asteroid ago) that has stayed with me to this day:  sine qua non.  Translated:  “Without which, there is nothing.”  Certain things and people in our lives make it all worthwhile.  This is the way I feel about God.  Without God, faith, prayer, well… there’s nothing holding life together.

This is what I find so unsettling about “acts of God” such as the tornado in Missouri.  Why in the world would the same God who’s keeping the world intact suddenly decide to take it apart?  Most of the time, God can move the heart of a troubled soul and renovate him from the inside.  But every so often, He makes cows fly through the air and takes roofs off of churches.

This puts me in mind of the time a reporter asked George W. Bush if he had lied about weapons of mass destruction as an entrée into the war in Iraq.  In a famous Bushism, he said, “No, no, I’ve never disassembled.”  Jon Stewart’s comment on the matter was, ”Mr. President, the word is dissembled.  ‘Disassembled’ is what you did to Iraq.”

Was God dissembling when He said He had the whole world in His hands?  Did he decide instead to disassemble it?

I’m going to have to trust that there are reasons beyond my understanding and a peace greater than any disaster.  I’m going to continue to give this One who has brought me through so much the benefit of the doubt when I doubt.  I’ll give Him the courtesy of voicing my dissent directly instead of holding a grudge and nursing a wound.  And I know in time, I’ll reach the same conclusion that I have every day for the past few years:  it doesn’t matter how dark it might be or how bad things might seem.  God is good.  All the time.

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Have a Mary Little Christmas

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