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I am writing this on Friday, June 26, 2015 – the day the Supreme Court legitimized gay marriage throughout the United States. Not surprisingly, Facebook and the blogosphere have been abuzz.

People are equating the rainbow flag with the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia (the flag wrongly IDed as the confederate flag).

I’ve heard people talk about the end of marriage.

And of course many people are quoting the Bible.  Strangely enough, they’re ignoring the verse of the day from Bible Gateway — “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18 NIV

I’d love to say that those supporting gay marriage are behaving better, but they are not. My favorite was someone who posted against white Christians.  Excuse me?  “Well, I didn’t mean you.”

In the coming weeks, there will be many heated discussions.  Can I ask a big favor from my Christian brothers and sisters?  Before you speak up – give yourself a wee little time out.  Honestly, the time out chair is a marvelous thing.  It gives you time to cool off and contemplate what you might do differently.

My suggestions?  Halt the threats that you have no intention of carrying out.  Do you really plan to move to Canada? Divorce?  If not . . . hush. Halt the name calling and the declarations on who is and is not going to hell.  Remember, God alone knows who is called and who is not.  We do not get to vote.

My own take?  I’m all for equal rights.  I have a serious issue with using the Bible to beat people down whether the beating is over race, gender or love interest.  Whether or not you agree with me, I ask that you be civil. Be kind. Be loving. In this, no matter what your opinion, you can shine His Light on the world.


Have you heard? The synod of bishops (basically a “sampling” of bishops from all over the world, plus some other folks) is meeting at the Vatican to discuss “Family.” I could make a joke here about a large group of celibate men discussing marriage and family, but I won’t, because some very serious issues are on the table, including, divorce, annulment, gay marriage and more. The bishops are talking. People are talking.

Will the Church change? Can the Church change? Hope abounds, even as the Supreme Court has begun striking down laws that prevent gays and lesbians from marrying. Are we on the brink of a new awareness, a new embrace of people who have been marginalized for years? I surely wish it so.

The Catholic Church moves more slowly than the rest of the world, and understandably so. We must be cautious that we are not undermining the rich, deep and beautiful foundations of our faith. I completely understand trepidation. I do not, however, understand excluding people from the life of the Church based on marital status or inborn characteristics such as sexual preference.

My sister was married for more than 20 years. Then, one day, her husband came home and announced that he didn’t love her and never had. What does one do with a declaration like that? She is divorced now, but if she were to meet and marry a good, loving man, she would — as things currently stand — be denied access to the Eucharist, the very life-giving heart of Catholic life.

Of course, it is less likely that a person would be shunned for being remarried than for being gay. Many of us have heard about the two men who recently got married and were asked to leave their parish (of which they were active members) unless — and this is a big unless — they promptly got divorced and signed a paper saying that marriage is only right, honorable and sacramental between a man and a woman. That’s not a choice; it’s blackmail.

Some of the comments I read regarding this case made me angry. Some merely bemused me. “So leave Catholicism and become an Episcopalian!” wrote several observers. Don’t they understand that people like me, whose Catholicism is in their blood and bones and woven so tightly into the fabric of their lives that it is quite inextricable, cannot leave the Church? Will not? Must not? “If you don’t like it, leave,” has never been a cogent argument to me. I am Catholic. I am the Church, the Body of Christ. I can no more leave Catholicism than I could tell my arm to drop off my body and onto the ground. And why should I — or anybody — have to?

I pray that the synod of bishops will hear what faithful Catholics are saying to them. I pray that they will work to include those who have been excluded, to fold them back into the fold. The world changes. Family changes. So too must our thinking — and the Catholic Church’s.

Have a Mary Little Christmas

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