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My yard is populated with birds, squirrels, and an occasional deer. There are also some squatters that hang around: Rocco and Enrique, the raccoons, and Fred Sanford, the red fox I see once in a while. Inside, every so often, I’ve had to contend with Sid and Sylvia, the silverfish. And of course, Steve, the spider who lives behind the bathroom door.

Every last one of them thinks that this is THEIR house.

They look askance at me as I’m looking askance at them.

What are you doing in my home? we’re each thinking.

If we startle each other, both of us react in fear. I always try to capture bugs as opposed to having to squish them, but if they surprise me, I make no promises. As long as they respect my space, we can co-exist in peace. Isn’t it the same way with the world?

This is my country. What are you doing here? In this country that was founded by immigrants. Mind you, this land was already populated by native Americans. Religions all stake the same claim: We alone possess the truth. Abide by our rigid rules, or suffer the consequences! When we overlap, we tend to squish each other, talking louder, claiming the community’s shared space as our own.

Then there’s Grady the groundhog, who keeps finding a way back under my house despite a wildlife company trapping nine of his family members, sealing holes and installing underground fencing. It took him a while, but he found his way back in. I hear him knocking sometimes under my sunroom. We aren’t each others’ fans, but like religion and politics, if the best I can do is not burn down the house to get rid of a few pests, it’s a tiny step in the right direction.

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Isn’t it obnoxious when people talk about their kids and pets all the time?

As if theirs are the cutest. When my son is obviously the most wonderful young man ever to walk the planet and my cat is nothing short of a furry phenom! ☺

Okay, I realize I’m always mentioning KitKat in my blog posts, and the things I’ve learned while raising my son, Cole. But I suppose one could say, at least I’m aware of it.

How about all the things people do that they don’t realize are off-putting? For example, I really have a problem with vocal-fry – that thing some do where their words trail off and it sounds like they’re creaking.

The other issue I have is with “up-talk.” That’s when every sentence being spoken goes up at the end? So everything sounds like a question?

Generally speaking, adolescents are the ones engaging in these habits. Maybe that’s why it bothers me. It could be that, with younger people, some trigger in me switches on, and I feel the need to “mother” them – if, by “mother,” I mean “badger” and “bother.”

After all, the older generation engages in plenty of our own bad habits. I used to work with a woman who would finish your sentences for you, and it was exasperating. It would go something like this:

Me: So I need to get this work done by-

IC: Next week?

Me: No. I was going to say by the end of the day. But I also need to-

IC: Go to the meeting?

Me: No. I was going to say make some phone calls.

By the way, IC stands for “Interrupting Co-worker.” Or maybe “Intensely Crazy-making.”

When you think about it, these problems really aren’t such a big deal, in the scheme of things. We live in a world with other people and sometimes we overlap. You might say that it’s just the cost of living. So any time I’m bothered by other peoples’ ways, I crack my knuckles, clink the spoon in my coffee cup repeatedly, and remember that we’re all only human. 

Have a Mary Little Christmas

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