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All week long, I’ve felt like I should post about the situation in Ukraine. But what do you say when you are waiting for something horrible to happen? What do you say when it begins? When the photos start flashing across social media?
Two weeks ago, I was in a webinar with scholars from all over the world. I’m not a participant. I sit and listen while academics in Belgium, Malaysia, and Ukraine speak. This time, everyone wanted to know how things were in Kyiv. “We are waiting,” he replied.
Now I am wondering. Is he even still alive? Is he?
I don’t know.
Worrying about a single person is such a small thing in the face of so much chaos and grief. But my chest aches with it. I tear up when I think on it. I feel broken.
That’s the term the Stated Clerk of Presbytery used in his prayer this week. “We lift our broken hearts in fervent prayer for peace in Ukraine.” He also reminded us that we can’t ignore the people of Russia. Not everyone there supports the invasion. To protest in Russia is a true act of bravery.
Even as I started writing this, I wasn’t sure what to say. What instruction could I give?
Only this.
It is okay to feel uncertain, lost or confused. It makes sense if you feel numb or overwhelmed. We are, after all, a broken people – human and full of flaws.
Try to spend a bit of time today in the presence of God. How you do this will be up to you. Me? I try to spend time outside in the sun and the wind. If the thermometer is to be believed, it is 26 degrees before I chose that path. I may have to wait until this afternoon. But I can pick up my prayer beads. I can light a candle. I can breathe deeply. And I can turn to Him and hope to carry some of his light back into this battered and broken world, and with my strength renewed put his light to work.
–SueBE
Please don’t feel you must buy me a lovely scented candle, a cashmere shawl or make a donation to my 1-800-MISS-RUTH hotline. (That’s not real, by the way. Just jesting again!)
So I turned 55 today — although I’m told I don’t look a day over 54 ½ .😊 I’ve gotten some text and email birthday wishes, which I really appreciate.
By far, the best gift I could ever ask for, I already have.
It’s taken decades to achieve, but I feel a sense of peace in my soul.
I’ve got a modest home. A son who watches out for me. Friends I can count on. Projects that interest me. A mackerel tabby who cycles between maniacal and completely inert. Who could ask for anything more?
A friend told me the other day she’d give up one of her pinky fingers to lose weight. She believes her life will be better if the numbers on the scale go down. Less of her (body weight, that is) is the “more” she seeks.
It’s easy to feel guilty for things we haven’t done, like lose weight, finish that college degree, or find a mate. You’re establishing the rule Until I accomplish this one thing, I can’t allow myself to be happy!
The problem becomes a partner, and every time you find a tiny bit of joy, that problem reminds you it still hasn’t been solved.
Sometimes the more you seek, the farther your goal seems to move away from you. When you look to someone or something else to complete you, you give your own power away.
Really, the “more” you seek is a sense that you’re on the right track. That your life has meaning. Hang your hat on hope and partner with Providence. Stop chasing after that nebulous “more,” and let your good life find you.
So much divides us.
Our brokenness blares
in the roar of raised voices,
in deeds, once done, binding,
in blame, in bludgeoning beating blame.
Breathe.
No one is out to get you.
We are all just muddling though.
Routine will be restored in good time.
Or not. We will learn to live with change.
There was once a flood.
Tirades against the rising tide
were drowned in the noise of thunder.
When waters ebbed, the world was new.
We breathed, moved onto land, began.
First of all, my apologies for my absence. All is well but all has also been super busy. I’ve finished rewriting another book with perhaps one more rewrite to go. I auditioned for a new writing job. Should hear about that in a day or two. There’s been a retreat and a craft fair and . . .
I was simply tapped out, but it took me some time to realize it.
In the meantime, I was crabby. Really, really crabby.
And quick to anger and each time I would lose my temper James 1: 19 would pop into my head. “Know this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” But that didn’t help.
What did help? Taking a break.
Whether we are in the middle of summer or at the beginning of the Advent season, peace doesn’t just happen. Like Calvin says here, you have to go after it with energy.
Pursue it. And how do you pursue peace? In my case, I had to disconnect.
What does it take for you to have peace during Advent or any other time of year? Are you an extrovert who finds your energy in crowds? I don’t get it but if that’s the case, go out and mingle! This time of year, music programs abound. Check your local library for a class or other program.
Are you an introvert who needs space and quiet and a lack of busy-ness? Grab onto a quiet time each day. Light a candle and meditate. Sip the hot beverage of your choice. Paint a bathroom wall. No seriously – “sorry, wet paint brush in hand . . . I can’t come out an deal with that right now.”
Whatever it takes, pursue it.
–SueBE
After doing a bit of introspection, I’ve decided that I’m an old soul, but I’m young at heart. I feel like I was born old. I’m 53 now, but I’ve always been a homebody. Don’t like to travel. Really don’t like change (in my pockets or in life). Love cats, knitting, classic movies. Love my son with all my heart, and am always coming at him with positive platitudes. “Always do the right thing, son,” I’ll tell him. I know what you’re thinking: That’s so Mayberry!
At 21, I got sciatica. At 36, I got a macular hole. Around that time, I was diagnosed with MS as well. I got the medical issues that normally occur later in life, earlier than expected.
There’s always something hurting, somewhere in my body. There’s always a bill on the counter I can’t yet afford to pay.
If that’s just how it is, I decided, I’ll work around it. I’ll be in a good mood. Not as good a mood as circumstances allow. You can’t make the situation your supervisor. It doesn’t get to decide how you feel right now, in this moment. You do.
When you set down roots in the place where peace resides, you’re safeguarding your own soul. Until you improve a situation, at least don’t make it worse by focusing on that problem alone. Take your mind off it when you can. Give yourself permission to be okay. And in that positive frame of mind, you might just change things for the better.
People who are sun-shiney and optimist no matter what is going on make me suspicious. What is it they’ve missed?
But I’m not a pessimist. I don’t think everyone is out to get me. I don’t think everything turns out badly. Most people don’t even know I’m here. And the universe? Neutral.
I consider myself a realist. But over the years I’ve come to handle stress fairly well. As long as no one is right in my face crabbing at me, I can pretty well just roll with things. Imagine my surprise when my yoga instructor read us an article that explained why. Yoga requires holding poses for a period of time. These poses require using our muscles and focusing. It is physically stressful. As we work on these poses, our brains are rewired. More cells and connections develop in the areas activated to handle stress. These cells and pathways are there when we have to deal with stress out in the larger world.
Things may not be peaceful but they are managable. They may not be ideal but they can be endured. And the quiet at your center? It’s a great place to pause and listen for God.
–SueBE
In yoga, we practice mindfulness. It might be harder to learn what this means in a peaceful yoga studio. But in a community center it quickly becomes obvious.
Mindfulness doesn’t mean closing out all distractions. It doesn’t mean never losing focus. What it does mean is that when you do, you pull yourself back.
This is something we get to practice all the time at the community center. There were the weeks on end where they were working on the roof and replacing various elements of the heating and cooling systems. There are those moments when busloads of grade school students arrive to use the pool. Indoor voices? Pfft!
You can’t control everything in your environment. But you can learn not to focus on what you can’t control. Let it go. Exhale. And return your focus to your breath, your pose, your inner quiet.
At the end of worship, we are encouraged to take Christ’s love into the world. Mindfulness makes this so much easier starting in worship.
Kids to pews back making noise? Inhale. Exhale. Return your focus to God.
The customer in line ahead of you can’t get her pin right? Inhale. Exhale. Share a smile. Who hasn’t forgotten a pin?
Peace, mindfulness and Christ’s love. Seems like a combination that just might change the world.
–SueBE
Thank you to Lori for her hurricane season prayer. Holding up all of you who are in the path of the storm. Here in the middle of the country, I’m just waiting for word from various cousins.
We may not be able to calm nature’s storms, but we can avoid contributing to the strife around us. I don’t know about y’all but it has been bad here. The worst part? Trying to fix problems and calm rough waters without letting people know what I think.
Debugging group pages that other people have goofed, dealing with scheduling issues and more. I can’t even tell you how many letters I’ve written and posts I’ve made only to delete them. No, no. No one needs to hear that.
Whether we are working to change a bad policy or striving for justice, we choose how we do it. Yesterday, I watched an interview with Beto O’Rourke. Only after the interview was over did I realize something. Yes, he’s running against Cruz. And, yes, he’s against Trump’s wall. But not once did he bad mouth them. Not once. He talked about what the people of Texas could accomplish but not once did he cut anyone down.
Work for change. Make peace. We can do it.
–SueBE
Scrolling through one of my favorite sites, Katzenworld, I found an interesting article about feeding cats raw food. There was a picture of the recommended brand, along with the words, “Made with Human Meat.”
What the heck?
Nearly fell off the chair. Had to scroll back up quickly.
“Made with Human Grade Meat.”
Oh. That’s a relief!
For a minute I thought I’d taken a turn into the Twilight Zone, and stumbled into the Little Shop of Horrors!
One word can make all the difference sometimes.
In today’s political climate, you don’t have to agree with everybody you meet. Online, you don’t have to dignify mean-spirited comments about what you believe, or where you come from, or how you live. But sometimes, one word of kindness can change the conversation.
And if it doesn’t, you may come to the conclusion that this isn’t a conversation anyway, but a monologue. You can always – respectfully – unfollow people who bring drama into your feed. This is true in real life as well. There comes a time when you realize that people who were once your friends bring nothing but negatives into your world. It’s okay to let them go.
In many cases, this will happen by attrition as you refuse to get sucked into the vortex of either/or online. You’re one of us, or you’re one of them. Someday, the zeitgeist will change, and we’ll see each other as people again. Until that time, unplugging from the constant barrage of angst and anger will do your soul good. Here’s one word that will hold your heart together: peace.
You truly understand this quote if you live in a multi-cat household. They aren’t at war but one of them is sitting on your lap, tensely eye-balling another cat across the room. There’s one on the back of the sofa, tail twitching. The third might be oblivious. Or she might be sitting beside the water bowl. She looks peaceful, but really? She’ll chase off anything feline that gets too near her water.
Peace is most definitely not the opposite of war. But just what peace is can vary by person and by situation.
Sometimes peace is quiet, serene. It is a moment to simply be.
Sometimes peace is a lull. It is the time it takes to sip a cup of coffee while you gather yourself for the day.
Sometimes peace is more active. It is working to provide a place of safety for those who have known violence and strife. It requires creating balance and seeking justice.
Peace. It seems like such a simple word and sometimes it is simple, but not always. What does it mean to you?
–SueBE
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