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Wow. I can’t believe that it has been 3 months since I last posted. Did you miss me? I’ve missed all of you but I have to admit that I’ve missed me too.
I’m not going to go into detail about why I haven’t been here. Let’s just say that my reasons are solid and all too familiar because we’ve all suffered loss during the last 2 years. I even lost my true self for a while. It wasn’t a total loss. My sense of humor made an appearance once in a while but my sense of joy and hope? The new me had nothing of the sort.
The self that I was left with got done what she had to do. But she did very few things with a smile.
In all honesty, I didn’t like this new me very much. And then I realized that last Sunday, November 28, 2021, was the first Sunday in Advent. Our minister spoke about joy.
Sigh. (I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.) I used to enjoy Advent and Christmas but this year? Meh. I just wasn’t feeling it.
But what if I could? I really hated the idea of losing my Christmas Joy to the new me. So I spent this week rediscovering my joy. Here is what I did.
Meditative drawing is a prayer technique that involves sitting quietly and drawing, doodling or sketching whatever comes to mind as you consider whatever it is you need to consider. Me? I thought about the things that have given me joy.
As Ruth explained in “The Present Is a Gift,” these gifts don’t have to be big or flashy.
As I sat throughout the week and considered what brings me joy, I realized that I’d squeezed in time for joy during most days. But I didn’t call it joy. I worked on a crochet project. I finished piecing together a puzzle. I made Christmas cards and listened to music.
None of the things that I had done were big. There were a lot of people who wouldn’t find joy doing these same things. But that’s not the point. I had experienced joy every single day. Hello, old me. I knew you had to be there someplace.
–SueBE
This year, our women’s Bible study is on the Ten Commandments. The focus of our first lesson was God’s promise. “I am yours. You are Mine.”
At the end of this lesson, the author recommended two ways to explore the study throughout the year. We could journal or we could use meditative prayer. Our study leader pointed out that instead of keeping a formal journal we could make margin notes throughout the month. After al, we’ve each purchased a book and the books have lovely, wide margins. Markers, stickers, colored pens, sketches, notes, whatever.
I’ve not tried journaling yet, because journaling is a bit “in” right now. I’m not avoiding it because it is IN. I’m avoiding it because I’m already working with two other journaling projects. Three just seems like too much.
But I’ve added the line for meditative prayer to the top page of each page in my other journal. “I am Yours. You are mine.” As I open this journal each morning, I see this line of text. I take a few minutes to meditate. Inhale. “I am Yours.” Exhale. “You are mine.” Inhale and exhale. In and out. It creates a quiet centering start to my day.
Has it solved all the worlds problems? No.
But I feel calmer and better able to deal with them. Things feel do-able and less chaotic.
I am yours. You are mine.
Why not give it a try?
–SueBE
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