You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘darkness’ tag.

If, like me, you live in an urban area, going into the countryside can be a shock when it comes to the night sky.  The name “Milky Way” suddenly makes sense to someone who is used to seeing only the very brightest stars.

During the day, we see one star, our own sun.  During a truly dark night, we see many.  It is amazing.

The other thing I love about being in this part of the state?  We have no cell service.  I can disconnect.   I wander down country roads, stopping to check rocks and moss and whatever else catches my fancy.  I can listen and breathe and simply be.  It’s in those times that I’m mostly likely to hear what it is God is trying to tell me.

Darkness and disconnect.  Both allow you to take in the Light.

–SueBE

 

 

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We are all complex combinations of dark and light.  Not that I’m bragging about my darkness but I do believe I need to own it.

I am short tempered.  Judgemental.  And precise.  How is that last one a bad thing?  Tick me off and then bug me to tell you why.  You’ll get it in great and painful detail.  Seriously.

There are also the traits that can go either way. I have a very strong sense of justice.  My friend’s autistic son loves that about me because it makes us just alike.  What can I say?  We understand each other.

I own these facts about myself but I try not to let them control me.  When something starts to get on my last nerve, I look for a way to remove myself from the situation.  Does that make me a saint?  Nope.  I’m just a sinner who knows when and where to beware.

Humans are flawed but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

–SueBE

Tonight is our last major rehearsal for the Christmas cantata at church.  I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to it.

We rehearse with parts CDs.  The sopranos, the altos, the baritones.  We each get to rehearse to our own part.  It’s a great way to learn something fairly quickly.

But the first time we rehearse to the performance CD is a disaster.  As you would expect, that CD has no one singing.  It is just the orchestration.  And that’s great.  But for some unknown reason the tempo is always different from the rehearsal CD.  Different tempo, slows down, speeds up in different places.

Do I need to say it?  The first rehearsal with just the orchestration is a disaster.

We always catch on the next time but that first one?  It is not encouraging.

But our choir director is truly one of God’s own.  She’s upbeat and positively chirpy.  “That was a little rough but you are so ready for this.”  Even when we don’t feel it ourselves, she knows that after two more times through it we will be ready.

We are hearing our mistakes.  Her? She is looking to the Dawn.

–SueBE

I popped by a community forum this morning.  One of the messages caught my attention.  “Truck or Treats are killing regular trick-or-treating.  Prove me wrong.”

So I responded.  “We had about 200 kids.”  Someone else responded that they had 300 or more kids.  Others had only 20 or 30.

But what caught my attention?  People heard what they wanted to hear.  People who don’t want to give out candy noted the people who had no visitors.  They complained about rude teens.  The death of community spirit and trust between neighbors.

With 200 kids and parents tromping across my porch, I had plenty of people to observe.  This was the friendliest, most polite year yet.  “Thank you.”  “Have a great Halloween.”  One little guy wasn’t sure what to say but he gamely repeated everything his dad said.  That was fortunately because I’m really bad at understanding toddlers.

Most kids had costumes.  Some did not.  Many were from the apartments about a mile away.  Section 8 kids.

See what I did there.  I could go for the negative. I could look for what Mary Oliver calls “the flawed blossoms.”

Or, I could look for the light.  These are God’s children.  He loves them just as he loves me.

It was a great night.  And I’m not just saying that because I ate 2 tiny Almond Joy.

–SueBE

A noisy blue jay is claiming my yard as his own. I could go out and tell him otherwise — or, better yet, my cat could — but I’m going to let the bird have his little triumph, just for a moment. We all need some light in our lives, even if it is short-lived.

I guess the trick to faith (and hope) is noting light where you see it, even if it’s reflected, or dim, or possibly artificial. At least it gives you a moment to see things more clearly, to assess where you are. At best, it reminds you that life is worth living.

What are your most reliable light sources? Mine are my husband and family, my friends, my faith. Nothing shores me up like the words “Glory be to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.” It reminds me of God’s constancy, which will endure long past the moments of darkness.

Choose your light carefully: Don’t look exclusively to people or places to buoy you up. Make sure the light is grounded in something more permanent — like love. People fail you; love doesn’t. Places change; love is eternal. Anything you depend on for light that is not fundamentally anchored in love will not sustain you.

When you find light, turn to it like a plant seeking sun. Bask. Store up sense memory for those times when you doubt the presence of light again.

Also, share the light with others. Please. This may be our greatest charge as humans and our biggest source of failure. I don’t know you, but I love you. I think you are a good person. Come stand in the light with me; our togetherness will make it grow.

There’s a difference between forgiveness and being a victim. Being a victim means that we let people do the same things to us again and again.

Forgiveness?  You put down the anger.  You toss away the rage.  You don’t give it space in your head 24-7.  It doesn’t mean that you forget, but you let go of the rage.

Instead you look for a spark of light.   That becomes your focus and what you show the world.  Not the rage.  Not the anger.  The light that pushes back darkness.

–SueBE

Have a Mary Little Christmas

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