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Currently, I am taking a Yale class on happiness called “The Science of Well-Being.”  This is my first psychology class and the professor is discussing what we think makes us happy vs what really makes us happy.  One of the first things that we did was take a character survey to find out which traits are strongest in each of our personalities.

When I saw this quote, it really rang true for me. But then again I just found out that it is official.  Among my top five traits are judgement and bravery.  I wasn’t really happy when I saw the term “judgement” but then I read what it means.  This isn’t about being judgmental.  Instead it is about being able to look at all sides of an issue. Bravery is described as a willingness to act or speak up about something even if your take on things is unpopular.

The quote above pretty well summarizes the last few weeks for me.  The only Planned Parenthood clinic in Missouri is on the verge of being closed down.  Ooooo, Planned Parenthood!  I can feel hackles going up across the blog-osphere.

When you say Planned Parenthood, many people think abortion but not all of their clinics perform abortions.  They also provide medical exams for women who don’t have insurance and can’t afford to pay the bill at your typical OB/GYN’s office.  There are college students and young working women who get their PAP smears and well-woman exams at Planned Parenthood.  That’s right.  They go there for cancer screenings not to get rid of unwanted fetuses.

If you don’t approve of abortion, I get it.  But I also see the much larger part of what Planned Parenthood does which includes saving lives through early diagnosis. And if not condemning this organization is an unpopular stance among Christians?  See Bravery, trait #5 on my list.

I hope we can be civil to each other even when we disagree, but even if we disagree, I’m willing to take a stand for women who need the health care Planned Parenthood provides.

–SueBE

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Courage comes in many forms.  There’s the single mother who has the courage to tell the story of her abuse.  There is the depressed woman who tells of her own thoughts of suicide.  Connecting with other people takes courage even if you aren’t revealing your deepest darkest secret.  After all, what if someone else has just told you something this big?  What do you say?

Recently I saw a video with Nadia Bolz-Weber.  In this particular video she was discussing grief.  In case you’ve never seen her or her videos, I’ll include this one below.  In this particular video she explains that when someone is grieving they don’t need Precious Moment platitudes.  They need you to be present.

And I think that’s the case in a lot of tough situations.  Be there.  Admit that the situation is a true horror.  Don’t discuss the greater good or God’s plan.  You and I have very little idea what that is anyway.

Have the courage to show up, to tell them that this truly stinks, but that you are there.  It takes courage but many things worth doing do.

–SueBE

When my son was tiny, as in about four, he managed to get out of my reach and go wading into a river.  We almost lost him when the current grabbed him but another parent reached out and snagged him.

I was afraid of water before that happened.  Then my father-in-law moved to a lake.  The boy had to learn to swim.  He also played soccer and rode horses but I’m not afraid of horses or soccer balls.  Naturally he gravitated to water.

He and his friends raft.  They swim.  They canoe.

Then one of his friend’s tried to push me in.  Poor, misguided boy.  He might be a state heavy weight wrestler but things did not go as planned.  And that’s when everyone found out that I’m like trying to throw a cat in a lake.

What does this have to do with courage?  On my part, not much.  But I wanted me son to live a life with broader horizons.  I was sure he’d have issues but I thought I’d let him develop them on his own.

I’d say that God and I talked a lot when my son was in the lowest levels of swimming lessons but in all truth I didn’t do much listening.  I fussed.  I complained.  And I leaned.

The courage wasn’t mine but that’s okay.  I knew where to find what I needed.

–SueBE

 

Follow your talent to the dark places where it leads.  Does this mean that using your talent will always be grim and scarey?  No.

But developing your talent can be tough.  Dancers face hours, days and years of practice to hone their skill.  All of this can be brought to a halt by a serious injury.  Pretty scary stuff.

Any college degree that is science based is hard to earn.  I’m saying that after listening to three teens discuss calculus over Christmas break.  How many of them passed?  None.  And these three are all honors students.  Heading back into their respective classrooms after Christmas, they each attend a different school, is going to be tough.  It is going to take guts.

Learning to use our talents effectively is often a long, difficult process.  This doesn’t mean that God wants us to take an easier path.  But it may mean a series of hurdles and dark passages before we can undertake the tasks that he will ultimately place before us.

Have courage!  After all, he is with you.

–SueBE

 

Often we here on PrayPower encourage you to make change.  Make change in your lives, your communities and the world.

Making change takes creativity.  You have to see things in a new way.  You have to envision possibilities.

And to do this requires courage.  Fortunately, we have each other.  And I don’t just mean Ruth, Lori and I.  There are you, our readers.  There are also the other change makers throughout the world – people who see what could be and have the courage to move forward.

But we also have God who loves us and holds us near and dear.  Draw on him, my friends.  Have courage.

–SueBE

I watched last night (by way of television) an Ethiopian couple scale a sheer cliff side in order to reach an ancient church hewn into the mountain. There they would baptize their son. The churches in the village were not good enough. In order for God to really bless their child, they had to seek tiny handholds in the worn rock, teeter across the thinnest of ridges — without the aid of ropes or harnesses. With a tiny baby strapped to their backs.

Then I watched an indigenous rain forest people dance for eight hours straight in order to appease one of their many gods. The vigor of their dance would determine how blessed they would be in the upcoming year. The dancers included small children. Imagine: Eight long hours, no rest.

My God does not require much of me — certainly no long, prolonged dance sessions or life-endangering climbs. But what if s/he did? I fear I would fail. Even life as a Puritan, as one of the settlers of this country in its first 100 years, would have been beyond me. Imagine sitting in church for hours on end, being shrieked at (mostly) for being a sinning worm of a human being, breaking for lunch, then going right back for more. Every Sabbath. Puritan life was joyless and gray, and that’s the way they liked it.

Where along the line did we humans lose the simple thread of God’s love and concern for us? At what point did we take the good news of the New Testament and turn it into an episode of “Survivor”? When did we turn God into one of us — demanding, hard-hearted, aloof? Maybe from the very start.

I like to think that God is easier than that. God simply wants us to love — to love God and to love each other. The rest of it is window dressing.

Or maybe not. What if God calls on me to do something terribly risky — what would my answer be? That Ethiopian couple and those jungle warriors must have faith the size of a whale to do what they do for God. My faith seems like a shrunken, withered bean in comparison.

Do we climb the mountain? Or do we convince ourselves that God wouldn’t ask us to and proceed to huddle under the nearest bed? When faith and fear collide, who wins?

I pray I never have to answer that question.

Last night, my husband and I went to the hockey game.  In general, I am not a sports nut.  I couldn’t care less.  Unless you put me in front of a hockey game.  I also spend a great deal of time watching the crowd.

Weeknight games are often themed.  Last night was Pride Night.  Throughout the night, video of various players would flash up on the big screen.  “If you can play, you can play.”  Think about it a second.  If you are a hockey player, they don’t care if you fly the rainbow flag.  You are welcome to play the game.

What does this have to do with beauty?  Another set of images also flashed up on the big screen.  Throughout the night, the camera would focus on various people in the audience dancing to the music or cheering on the team.  One of their favorites was a person dressed in drag.  It was clear, this was a look meant to turn heads and it was a look that took hours to pull off from silvered dark hair to stage worthy makeup and a rainbow tea length dress.  The Queen Mother carries herself with less dignity.

Beauty isn’t a matter of makeup, hair color or just the right nail polish.  It also isn’t choosing a more natural look.  It is the inner strength, courage and dignity needed to be yourself.

–SueBE

 

Taking that first step can seem awfully scary.  Sometimes it means going against a long-held belief.  Praying in public freaks me out.  Truly panics me.  In part, I had a minister tell by how very bad I am at it.  She’s right but that sure didn’t help.  In fact, I panic so badly that I can’t even get the Lord’s Prayer right.  Did you know that was once considered a sign of witch craft?  I’d be in big trouble.

I’m teaching a section of Adult Sunday School again.  I’ve resigned myself to reading a prayer at the end of each lesson.  Now I need to convince my co-teacher to let me do it.

Take the first step can be even worse if you are making a change in a long-term situation such as leaving a job or a marriage.  Leaving after five/ten/fifteen years feels like failure.  Does it mean all those years were wasted?  A friend has moved out.  Recently she asked me why I’m not praising her for dumping the goon or warning her about ruining her marriage.  It seems that most everyone else has taken sides.

“Would it help?”

“I’m really scared and it just makes me mad.  This is a forty-year marriage I might have just totalled.  It isn’t a good thing!”

We discussed how the change was needed for her mental health and his.  We talked about how if the marriage ends, it is sad because they’ve been together for a long time.  But it could also be good if it shakes them out of patterns that no longer worked for either one of them.

And we prayed. Yeah, she’s the one who led it but that’s okay.  She’s got a plan for me.  I’m more than a little scared to find out what it is.

–SueBE

 

Have a Mary Little Christmas

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