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As I was roaming around the web today, I realized that the world is divided into two camps: those that LOL and those that don’t.

Now, even though I’m generally an upbeat person, I’ve never for the life of me understood the ubiquitous use of the acronym, LOL. I’ve got to be honest. I’ve never LOLed a day in my life. Not once have I texted “LOL” to anyone, ever. I don’t SMH, and I don’t tell you what I think IMHO.

If you ask me, TOBAL (There Ought To Be A Law) against the LOL!

Of course, I’m just venting. These acronyms are perfectly harmless, even in good fun, really. They’re the Esperanto of the internet, and they really have become the parlance of the people.

But sometimes it seems as if we’ve lost the ability to just be together as human beings. At a Broadway show last month, Patti LuPone stalked offstage, in character, and confiscated a cell phone from a woman who’d been texting throughout the entire show. Isn’t it possible to disconnect for a night at the theater? What do we think we’re going to miss? What’s better than LuPone on Broadway? Maybe she was texting Barbra Streisand!

When you really think about it, we’re all ISO a genuine connection, and that’s why we’re so attached to our devices. NALOPKT, but TM, it’s true.

So when we’re at a Broadway show, we think BWTM! It’s as if we have FOMO on something big happening somewhere else while we actually traipse around IRL.

Listen, I don’t want to sound like a POTATO using all this net lingo, but SSEWBA and we won’t know how to talk F2F.

Well, TFLMS. C4N!


  • ISO = In Search Of
  • NALOPKT = Not a Lot of People Know That
  • TM = Trust Me
  • BWTM = But Wait, There’s More!
  • FOMO = Fear of Missing Out
  • IRL = In Real Life
  • POTATO = Person Over Thirty Acting Twenty One
  • SSEWBA = Someday Soon, Everything Will Be Acronyms
  • F2F = Face to Face
  • TFLMS = Thanks for Letting Me Share
  • C4N = Ciao For Now!

Have a Mary Little Christmas

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