When Ruth, Lori and I write about similar topics, it is funny how consistently we each fall into a role. Aunt Ruth has a folksy no-nonsense approach. She pulls in things she’s read and seen online. Lori waxes poetic, spinning lines that inspire. Me? I come in with the facts and a how-to spin every single time and this time is no different.

Earlier in the week, Lori wrote about reconciliation in her post Reconciliation Requirements. It took me some time to order my thoughts but I found myself contemplating a National Park Service program my son got to participate in. Called Pen or Pencil (POP) the program is all about breaking the school to prison pipeline. Because a part of this is racial tension, a big part of the program is reconciliation.

It is one thing to say that we want reconciliation to occur. It is another to do our part. As taught by the POP sessions my son attended, these three things need to take place for reconiciliation to take place.

Recognize Bias

Like I teach my writing students, we all have to learn to recognize our biases. Bias is the slanted way you and I see the world. It is shaped by our beliefs and our attitudes. It is especially important that we recognize how our biases shape our behaviors.

The most difficult part of this is realizing how bias shapes unintentional behaviors. Me? I’m the Queen of the Eyebrow Raise. My oldest niece has mastered the eye roll. Medals are also given out for the head shake and the martyred sigh.

For reconcilliation to take place, we need to own these things and be willing to do something about them. Sigh.

Truth Telling

Another vital part of reconcilliation is truth telling. This doesn’t just mean telling everyone what you think. In reconcilliation, truth telling is a process of airing grievances and misundertandings.

Wait? Didn’t I just say it isn’t all about telling everyone what we think? That’s because of the final, and perhaps hardest step.

All Voices Heard

Everyone has a voice at this table. When my son attended this program, he was the only young white man. It would have been really easy for them to shut him down. But each of his classmates had a chance to speak up and so did he.

That was because everyone has a voice. And everyone should feel heard. Not just the people who agree with us.

It isn’t an easy process. If it was we would have been there long ago. But that’s the wonder of carrying God’s light into the world. We are lighting the way not to a world lived our way but his way where there is a space for each of God’s children at the table.

–SueBE