My house needs a lot of renovation, but until my shipload of money comes in (scheduled to arrive, let me check my watch: any minute now), I’ve decided to focus on flourishes. Tiny touches, like a throw rug here and there, or curtains on a kitchen window.

I’d hoped to hire a professional to install a curtain rod, but decided to MacGyver it. With a couple of self-adhesive towel hooks and some twelve dollar curtains I ordered online, I was on my way. The only thing I needed now was some kind of rod to hold up the curtains. Then one day while doing laundry, I came across a wooden stick. Where did this come from? There was a very faded price tag on it. Wow. This was another artifact from the previous owners of my house. It’s from twenty-five years ago.

I brought it upstairs, fingers crossed, and held it across the towel hooks. It fit perfectly! The true test: Would these curtains fit on the chunky wood? It took some skooching, but eventually, those curtains were on just fine.

Next, I thought of buying some self-adhesive towel hooks to hold back the curtains during the day to let some light in. I found some adhesive circles in the utility drawer and looked around. Why not put some tea candles on the circles to hold the curtains back? It’s a quirky touch and makes the kitchen even more like home.

When my ship does come in, I’m going to park it in my driveway, ask the captain to leave the keys, and stay in my humble home. I’ll do some home improvements, take care of my family and friends, and give back to the community. But once you’ve MacGyvered your kitchen curtains, there’s really no place like home.