We lost our boy. Jaspurr was nineteen — that’s a long time to know a person, much less a cat (which is what Jassy was). His name (pronounced Jasper) stemmed from his loud and enthusiastic motor. He was a lover, a cuddler, a lap kitty. He was, as our dear pet sitter described him (and like Frankie whom I wrote about last week), the matriarch of the family: It was because of Jaspurr’s loving instincts that we were able to have eleven cats in our home at one time. He took care of everybody. Now he is gone, along with the rest of his adopted kin. He was, as my mother would say, the last of the Mohicans.
Sometimes terrible doubts grasp me: What if there is no heaven? It’s not fear for myself that motivates me — the idea of oblivion is terrifying, of course, but I don’t mind so much for myself as for Jaspurr and our other lost pets. Surely there must be a forever place for him? He did nothing but love with his whole heart every day of his life.
I find myself arguing transitive qualities, like a proof in geometry: If I love Jaspurr and God loves me, then…. But it’s useless trying to wrap my brain around it. Jaspurr was good, and if good survives beyond this life, then surely he does, too.
There is only one way to deal with this grief and it is to walk through it. I have to imagine Jaspurr in paradise, a paradise he understands, filled with dishes of cereal milk and all his friends. Here’s a haiku to celebrate:
A pause in heaven —
gentle tiger-striped rumblings —
a cat has come home.
6 comments
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April 11, 2019 at 5:55 pm
Literary Remains
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Jaspurr… he looks like a very sweet boy!
April 12, 2019 at 11:42 pm
loristrawn
He was. Thank you!
April 11, 2019 at 6:24 pm
rhcwilliams
I’m so sorry, Lori. Even if you know it’s coming, it’s still impossible to prepare for such a blow. I think there is a place for our lost pets in the ether. That being said, I worry too, that someone will forget to let KitKat in and he’ll be left waiting at the door. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced there are catflaps in Heaven. It’s a small comfort I keep on my heart when I miss him. Holding you up in prayer, dear heart.
April 12, 2019 at 6:31 am
CareSA
Sorry for your loss, and the ache in your heart for your beloved cat. I don’t know if they go to heaven, but I do know they come from heaven to love comfort and cuddle with us, especially in days of trial and sadness. Cherish your soft furry memories at this time.
April 12, 2019 at 5:00 pm
suebe
Oh, Lori! I’m so sorry to see this! I would definitely let you come over and cuddle a cat if we lived closer. Your Jasspur sounds a lot like our Lucky. Hugs and prayers, sweet Lori!
April 12, 2019 at 5:11 pm
loristrawn
Give Lucky a hug from me. Thanks so much, SueBE!