In a dream years ago, I was told that there are three keys to life:
- Water
- Full-body Stretch
- Contempt
For a while, I struggled with that last one. Contempt? Why would something so negative be one of the keys to life? I assumed I must have read it wrong. Must have been “content,” as in, be grateful for what you have. Don’t be a complainer.
But it stayed in my heart as “contempt.” It took me a long time to listen, but I realized there comes a time when it’s not just acceptable, but necessary, to feel contempt.
When you’re in a situation that is unbearable, untenable, unbelievable, I can’t imagine God is sitting in Heaven, saying, too bad, so sad. It’s my will. You’ll have to endure this for your whole life.
Of course, there are times when it’s right to pray and be patient, waiting for Him to move on your behalf. But there are also times when it’s absolutely imperative to listen to your soul’s nudge, and take action.
Life after my marriage ended wasn’t easier; it was better, I wrote in an earlier post. Leaving a job that was sucking the life out of me wasn’t a decision I made lightly, but my health was deteriorating. Careful consideration and persistent prayer made it clear what I had to do.
Some things are not open to debate. If you see a spider in the hallway, you don’t pray it out. You get it out – of your house, right away. Why is it so much more agonizing to eliminate the negativity in our personal lives?
Leaving behind what doesn’t serve you isn’t quitting. It’s a course correction.
There isn’t a specific commandment to “Love Thyself,” because it’s implicit in “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
God created you. God loves you. Love yourself.
Don’t stay in a toxic, soul-suffocating situation if you can help it. It’s okay to say, This hurts me. I hate it. It’s got to go.
So don’t feed and water the monsters in your own life. Don’t fluff their pillows and leave a mint on the bed for them. Treat them with contempt. And show them the door.
9 comments
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October 6, 2015 at 4:24 pm
loristrawn
I wish every person in an untenable situation would read this!
October 6, 2015 at 4:48 pm
rhcwilliams
Thanks, Lori! I wish I had learned this twenty years ago. Would have saved me a world of hurt.
October 6, 2015 at 10:10 pm
in567
Aah…for this reason I had left my last job. And am still awaiting God’s provision for the next one. I had an interview again last week, so that one’s hopeful. Anyhow, I know what you mean about leaving a job where it was bad for my health. And it was! It was one that had made me constantly be angry, whether I was there or at home. So I had to leave. Folks tell me they go through that all the time at work, but are still there. So I wonder if I coulda made it through had I stayed. Very, very, very much doubt it. I mighta screamed my lungs our and made all of the windows break, I think. Or some other whacked out stress-relieving method. The sis had emailed to me something about “How to Handle Toxic People”. You’ve reminded me to open up that email. Thanks.
October 7, 2015 at 12:03 am
rhcwilliams
Fingers crossed you get the job, In! It can’t be good to stay in a job that makes you feel angry all the time. I know that one of the reasons I stayed as long as I did at my old job (14 years) was that the health insurance was excellent. Thing is, I used the heck out of that coverage being sick all the time. Just not worth it! Good luck finding the right job for you!
October 7, 2015 at 3:46 pm
calensariel
Leaving behind what doesn’t serve you isn’t quitting. It’s a course correction. What a brilliant thought. In so many ways it takes the “fail” out of it, doesn’t it…
October 7, 2015 at 5:42 pm
rhcwilliams
A big Amen to that. Lady Calen!
October 13, 2015 at 8:24 pm
Visionariekind
loved it – well said – and I agree…
October 13, 2015 at 11:51 pm
rhcwilliams
Thank you, dear Visionariekind! Sometimes holding on to what doesn’t serve us actually gets in the way of blessings to come. Letting go really is letting God!
October 14, 2015 at 12:42 am
Visionariekind
Yes indeed -powerful words Let go -Let God and I’m all about that blessed life!!!…Much love…