I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest.  I do not judge the universe.  Dalai Lama

They rolled in early in the morning, well before 9 AM, and you heard the “beep-beep-beep” of massive trucks backing up and turning around.  There was a scraper attachment on the front of the first one, and it lifted up the worn-down top layer of black-top on the road.  The scraped-up black-top was then funneled into a dump truck following behind via a long metal tube.  Behind these two trucks was a crew laying down the new, gloppy black-top.  After they poured down the black goo, they all got off the trucks and pulled out shovels.  They dug around driveways that had potholes (like mine) and smoothed the driveways’ ends into the newly-paved road.  Then came the steamrollers, back and forth, for hours on end.

There was a lot of noise, a lot of equipment and a lot of manpower out there on my road today.  The fact is, it takes a lot of work to un-do a road, especially if you plan to re-do it.

Imagine how much effort and energy it must take to un-do bad attitudes, dark thoughts and crushed spirits.  And what kind of power it must take to re-do a soul that’s a fixer-upper.  It takes a tear-down to pave the way for a build-up.

Lately, because of the things happening in my life, in particular, to my family, I’ve been having bouts of doubt.  Maybe it should be capitalized, like a chronic condition.  Bouts of Doubt.  Could even be classified in the ICD-9 DM soul diagnostic manual.

When I saw the quote, above, by the Dalai Lama, I realized that this is what’s going on in my faith life.  I’m judging God.  I’ve actually prefaced a prayer with, “Now, I’m sure You have your reasons….” and “I don’t doubt You; I just question Your methods.”

Seeing these words written on the page, it really is ridiculous.  Me, calling God on the carpet.  Heck, He invented carpet!  Even remnants.

So I’m working on getting past one of my Pet Proclivities:  judging others.  Only in this case, I’m judging the way God is working in my life.  He’s been patient as I’ve let my Jersey out from time to time.  “Not for nuttin, Lord, but what gives?”

I’ll work on re-vamping my own road, and keep believing that, with all the detours I’ve taken and the potholes that abound, I can find my way back home to hope.  Until then, I’ll just keep on truckin.

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