“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” – Luke 6:31
There’s an old joke about the Golden Rule and masochists — the point being, there are some folks who might take “treat others as you’d like to be treated” to unpleasant and uncomfortable places. What it really comes down to is this: The Golden Rule presumes that people wish to be treated well. And really, who would disagree?
You’d be surprised. Most people would concur that thinking one’s self more important than other people can be construed only as arrogance. On the other hand, many of us have been programmed to believe that putting ourselves below others is humility…something to be sought after.
Well, there’s humility, and there’s masochism. And some of us veer a little too close to the latter, especially us caregiver types. It’s time to ask yourself: Do you put your needs last, after everyone else’s? Do you expect more from yourself than from those around you? How often do you make yourself a martyr? And how surprised would others be to be called the things you call yourself in the privacy of your own superego — words like fat, stupid, weak, lazy?
The Golden Rule assumes a certain estimation of ourselves…that we know ourselves to be important, good, worthy. And if you don’t, you’re just as guilty as the selfish so-and-sos Ruth writes about. It’s a two-way street. So I ask you: Which direction are you driving?
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November 8, 2011 at 5:49 pm
dalimadre22
Amazing, Lori. Gave me chills. This should be required reading — not only the caregiver types — but also for those we fall into the other categories. (Still got the goosebumps). Awesome, woman, AWESOME.
November 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm
rhcwilliams
Wow, Lori! Like Karen said. Chills! This is all meat, right here – not an ounce of fat. Substantive, deep, powerful wisdom. It’s also one of those hard lessons that hits close to home for me. We’re all in the caregiver category, and it does tend to work out that our needs are last. I just read an article on CNN Health along these lines, but please be warned, it is a sad story to read.
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/08/moms-you-deserve-to-take-care-of-yourselves/?hpt=hp_bn10
One of your best posts, LG!!
November 9, 2011 at 8:21 pm
suebe
What we all need is someone to remind us that we don’t have to be martyrs to be valued. Lori? Karen? Ruth? Got it?
–SueBE