Sometimes prayer comes quick and easy.  I pray for the fire fighters answering a call, the checker at the grocery store who has obviously had a brutal day and various friends who share specific needs.  I give thanks for moments of great beauty, soaring music and wide open spaces.

When I’m emotionally invested in a situation, especially when I feel like I’ve been deeply wronged, prayer is much more difficult.  I whine to my husband.  I gripe to my girlfriends.  I stomp around the house, but I hesitate to take it to God.

What is holding me back?

Like Ruth, I’m more than willing to accept that He is the Boss.  I know that there are things I simply do not see and cannot understand.  But I really, Really, REALLY want to tell Him how to fix things.

I am the Queen of All Things Type A.  Seriously.  I accuse my husband of trying to micro-manage me but I’m never happier than when I’m telling him what to do and he’s hopping to it. Ok, he doesn’t hop, but you know what I mean.

While my husband will occasionally let me be the Queen, the King of All is not putting up with me and my extremely limited vision.

I know this because I keep finding myself in trying situations.  Most often when I feel wronged, once I’ve cooled off, I’ll see that the problem isn’t the clueless individual who slighted me.  The problem will be, once again, my not so subtle need to be in control, my short temper, and my pure stubbornness.

I know this just as I know I will continue to be put to the test until I chill, learn to take a deep breath, count to ten and get over myself already.  Of course, once that happens, things won’t seem quite so serious or so extremely unfair.  It won’t be the people in my path that have changed so much as how I deal with them.  I won’t be changing them but I will be changing myself.

I know this.

On a good day.

But even on a bad day, it is this knowledge that generally keeps me from stomping up to God and insisting that He knock it off right this very minute and straighten things out.  Because deep down I know that straightening things out will most likely mean yanking a knot in my tail.

Besides, once I’ve calmed down, I’m much more likely to come up with a prayer that is a bit less self-serving, much less bossy and, even if I’m not sure how, more in tune with His plans for me and those around me.

–SueBE